7 Tips for Managing a High-Risk Pregnancy
Photo Caption: Me in the hospital a couple of hours before giving birth to my daughter. I still can’t believe my belly was this big!
On April 16, 2021 - I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Given the terrible statistics related to Black maternal health - I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to be here. I wrote a piece early on in pregnancy called “Carrying a Rainbow Baby: Life After Loss” here which may be helpful but wanted to write a follow-up. Here are my tips for managing a high-risk pregnancy:
Get your first prenatal appointment with a high-risk (maternal fetal medicine) doctor as soon as possible. I was able to get in to meet with the department head of the MFM department during Week 5 of pregnancy. I did have to advocate for the earlier appointment as the standard is usually to have the first appointment during Week 8 or Week 10. During that early appointment it was determined that I had High Blood Pressure and needed to start medication immediately. I am so grateful I was able to get in early.
Join the pregnancy mom apps. My favorite App was the What to Expect App and the message boards that come along with them. I joined both the “April 2021” and “May 2021” groups, and while I never felt comfortable enough to post - reading the messages from other women helped me to feel a sense of community and it helped me to feel connected. Not to mention it would lighten the load seeing other people discuss the symptoms
Figure out the “next” milestone. Thinking about the full 40 weeks at the beginning of my pregnancy induced so much anxiety. Instead, I focused on the next milestone. During the first trimester, I focused on making it to the second trimester. During the second trimester, I focused on the gender scan. I would always ask “What’s the next milestone” and that would help me. Once I reached each milestone I’d have my own celebration.
Write things down. I wrote things down since I saw different doctors each time I went until the end. This was particular important when it came to managing my blood pressure because some doctors would say my threshold was 160/110 while others would say 150/100. It was always helpful say “Dr. So & So said…” to double check. I also maintained a list of the fun stuff, like when I’d host my baby-shower and do my maternity photo shoot. That kept me motivated.
Set up a support network. My support network included my prayer team comprised of several people in my family who I’d send a group text prior to appointments to say “today, we are praying for…” my partner and Amelia’s Father, who was the most important person in my support network. He helped to ensure that I was getting the appropriate amount of rest, nutrition, etc. and he would help me reinforce my boundaries, my mom - who was always super supportive and positive - no matter what. My coworkers - who. immediately started making accommodations for me as a pregnant woman (including working around my schedule which included at the minimum weekly in-person Doctor’s Appointments) and our COO for creating a generous and intentional parental leave policy well in advance of the time that I needed to access it.
Give yourself permission to enjoy the pregnancy. While we never know what the ultimate outcome may be - it is important to give yourself the permission and the space to enjoy the pregnancy. At one point - I can remember thinking that I wouldn’t share my pregnancy publicly because of how devastating it was in the past when I experienced pregnancy loss. At one point I decided I wasn’t going to let fear control me and I made my pregnancy “Facebook Official.” I felt relieved to have it out there, and received overwhelming love and support. People always say that each pregnancy is different, and that proved to be true for me in this case.
Learn the science. I became obsessed with the science and the stats. For example, I tracked the viability of my daughter week by week. Once I learned that after 23 weeks - she was considered “viable” and the hospital would do whatever they could to help her (and I) survive if anything went wrong - and that survival rate was 70% which was very comforting. Each week, that number went up. Knowing the science and the data helped me to manage my expectations. I also had a specific medical condition - cervical insufficiency/incompetent cervix that caused my previous losses - so I joined a couple of Facebook Groups that provided community as well as really helpful articles and tips. The caveat here is to always seek medical advice from your Medical Care Team before implementing anything suggested in these groups (including here).
Now that I am a mother - I will be writing regularly about motherhood and parenting. If you have any questions or would like for me to cover anything specific, please let me know.